The End of ABC?

I’ve been putting off writing this for a long time, but in the end I had to do it to give you – the reader – some kind of closure. Some kind of explanation, really.

I don’t think I can continue ABC any longer – at least, not as long as things continue to be as they are.

Why? Several reasons.

I think I made it clear at some point that, to my eternal shame, I am Lebanese. Which is one of the worst nationalities to curse your child with. Right now we are running out of fuel, electricity, medicine, education, food, and water. The country is in a death spiral, and every time we think it can’t possibly get worse, it gets worse. I cannot continue to write and draw as long as I live here.

The other reason is that ABC is going nowhere. I think I also made it clear that I hoped to publish ABC in some form. Unfortunately as the years dragged on it became obvious that that wasn’t happening either. My attempts to contact publishers failed. My attempts to contact agents failed. My attempts to contact at least one artist resulted in blatant ghosting. There’s no reason for any author or artist to collaborate with me since everything is already online – all they have to do is use my references without citing me and do their own thing, without having to burden themselves with me.

“Just do patreon or self-publish or something!” I can’t. Most crowdfunding sources don’t work here. I can’t accept any money in this country because the banks will steal it. And if I manage to escape the country, as long as I retain my garbage nationality, I won’t be able to make money outside of what the strict visa rules will allow. So that’s not happening either.

I was fine doing ABC as a hobby. But now it’s impossible to enjoy doing it anymore when I feel that both it and me have no future, and I can no longer continue doing something that I feel is completely hopeless. How long have I been doing this? Feels like forever, and yet it doesn’t feel like my audience has grown at all, like anyone cares.

So the hiatus will go on… indefinitely, I guess. Unless a miracle happens and my life improves enough that I don’t mind doing this for nothing anymore.

Until then, I’m sorry. And I hope you enjoyed this project while I was at it.

76 Comments

  1. Stress kills creativity. And you’re obviously under a lot of stress with everything going on in your country. It’s totally understandable—how do you focus on fantasy when your reality seems so bleak? It would be impossible to focus, and doing what you love starts to feel forced, more an obligation than a passion. So let it go. Find what makes you happy now. I just ask two things:

    1. Don’t walk away thinking none of this mattered. The amount of people who comment are only a small percentage of the people who have loved your work and been impacted by it over the years. You may not have gotten published, but your work has inspired so many people. Your work is beloved, published or not.

    2. Please keep this site up so your work can continue to inspire more people. If it’s too much money, please PLEASE reach out for help from your fans before you take the site down. This is a treasure trove of knowledge and research that should be shared.

    I sincerely hope you find your happiness again. You’ve given so much to me with your work. Please walk away from it feeling proud and appreciated.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. UH GRAN SALUDO, SOY DE VENEZUELA Y GRACIAS A TI ES QUE DESCUBRI QUE EN ESTE PAIS TAMBIEN HABIAN CRIATURAS MITICAS POR PARTE DE LAS CULTURAS INDIGENAS, TE ESTOY MUY AGRADECIDO POR ESO Y TE DESEO MUCHO EXITO EN LO QUE DECIDAS DESPUES. Y TAMBIEN AL SER DE VENEZUELA ENTIENDO TU DECISION, CADA DIA ES PEOR AQUI TAMBIEN,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Un gran saludo, soy de venezuela y si no fuera por tu pagina no sabria que en este pais habian criaturas miticas por parte de las culturas indigenas. TE ESTOY MUY AGRADECIDO POR ESO, tu pagina es excelente pero al ser de ete lugar tambien entiendo tu desicion, tambien vamos de mal a peor, por lo que por ultimo te deseo lo mejor y consigas lograr lo que quieras.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sincerely, thank you for this. I hope your future ventures are more prosperous. You made a wonderful controbution to this world. And I am infinitely happy to know that you did this. Please, get out of Lebanan if you can, and find a future worthy of you. Goodnight.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I found this site on Quora. This is my first visit. I just knew your work would be hugely entertaining, just the kind of thing I enjoy most.
    Your announcement grieves me so much. I am very sorry for your desperate situation. It is a terrible thing when sheer exhaustion and lack of hope or any future perspective put an end to creativity, joy, curiosity, humour and intellect. That is the very best humanity has to offer, there is never enough of it to go around. It’s all so STUPID. Maybe some day things will get better. I will continue to think of you and wish you well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve read this site for years and keep coming back to it. I’m sad to see you go, but I understand that it’s really not doable right. I just want to let you know that I appreciate everything you’ve done here. This site is one of the coolest things on the internet and you should be proud.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I wish you all the happiness in the world, thanks for everything.
    não descida da felicidade sua e de sua família, onde quer que você vá, desejo-lhe paz e prosperidade.
    لا تنزل من سعادتك أنت وعائلتك ، أينما ذهبت ، أتمنى لك السلام والازدهار

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you so much for the closure and for all you’ve given me over the last 5 years. I didn’t realize how much I loved mythology and folklore until I rediscovered it as an adult by clicking on your website (while looking for pictures of the dodo bird, found your African dodo article).

    Like another commenter said, please don’t let this go totally offline. I’d be more than willing to help however I can to keep it up–if it comes to that.

    In your life going forward, good luck. Don’t be afraid to update us every now and again.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Just happened upon this page searching for mythological beasts, & I must say this is some of the most spectacular artwork I’ve seen for these. I really hope you somehow find a publisher, because I would buy this in a heartbeat, even if only released as a general art book.

    You made some of these creatures look truly terrifying, even the more subtle ones, like the Log Shark. I really hope your situation improves and you get your muse back. This is a wonderful site.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I hope everything will be okay with Lebanon, it’s such a beautiful country filled with beautiful people, the city of Beirut is very vibrant, the arts and traditions are very beautiful. Unfortunately, things don’t go very well with the government but it is still not as worse as other countries like Liberia, etc (sorry for mentioning names).

    I hope things improve in your beautiful country, cherish what you have now, during this dark time, take a rest and hope that things go well for you.

    Love from Indonesia

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I just found this blog and i think its amazing. I would buy this book and I’ve only read a single entry. Sad to hear things are bad and I hope they get better. In the meantime, all I can say is that your work has made me happy. Its not much but its something. I hope you can be happy too.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey I’m not sure if you’ll read this but I just wanna tell you how huge of an inspiration this blog left for me, I discovered it a few years ago and it’s been one of my favorite activities to read your posts, I wish you the very best in your life! And thank you to everything you’ve provided thus far

    Liked by 1 person

  13. My first time here too. We’ve been playing a game and Keyeri came up, searched and found your blog. Very impressive.We in the USA do sometimes get news of conditions in Lebanon, and a very good friend here is Lebanese. I wish you not to be discouraged, to know that people are (gradually) noticing your work and appreciating it, and I hope that your situation improves. Publishing is notoriously either lucky or fraught with rejection, keep trying. What you have here with art, scale, description and citation is excellent, and valuable, and should be published. 2021-10-09

    Liked by 1 person

  14. You have brought me countless hours of joy reading this material. Thank you very much for all you have done here and God bless you and keep you through whatever this world will throw at you. I maintain the hope that we will all hear from you again someday 🙂 if not, it’s been a hell of a ride

    Liked by 1 person

  15. wow, i just found your webbsite and it was my saving in my own book writing hobby. I have had a hard time finding good information about creatures and monsters to find inspiration from. And here you are, absolutely fantastic. I am so sorry to hear about the situation in Lebanon, I also have relatives in that area (i’m living in Sweden). I wish you all the best and that you are safe. And don´t quit on your dreams, because if you leave them behind, you will leave a part of yourself behind and life will feel harder. Maybe its just a break and that the opportunity will come in the future.
    I wish you all the best again, and THANK YOU for your amazing and beautiful work.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Your drawings are amazing and the amount of information there is on your blog dwarfs many of the bestiaries I have seen and read. I completely understand your reasons and I hope you and your family stay safe and sound. If this was a book, I would definitely purchase it just to read and browse through all the monsters you have listed and painstakingly researched. Good luck and thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. It`s so sad to hear this but I understand completely, I hope your situation gets better. This page has been a great inpiration for me and it’s the most extensive work i`ve ever seen on this subject, at least I hope that you leave the project knowing that what you’ve already done its absolutely amazing and you have a lot of talent.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Long time reader of this wonderful site and I just wanted to also say I’m sorry your life’s in a rough place right now. Don’t ever think what you’ve done here doesn’t matter. The internet is a cruel mistress and hidden gems like this little world you’ve given us are a treasure.

    I would buy this in book form without hesitation. It would be an excellent addition to my other bestiaries and a beautiful display piece. If nothing else, I would want an offline version just to ensure this labor of love doesn’t disappear if you are no longer able to host this.

    It’s too easy to let the world weigh you down nowadays, and I hope you do what’s best for you. Keep on doing what you love. We’ll be here, quietly appreciating what you’ve given us.

    Liked by 1 person

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