Happy April Fool’s!
Variations: Flying Purple People Eater, Purple People Eater
The One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater is a creature from North American folklore. The primary source for it comes from Wooley, who describes its activities from a purported first-hand encounter.
Unfortunately descriptions of the purple people eater are vague. It is evident that it is one-eyed, one-horned, and flying (presumably to distinguish it from the dreaded Three-Eyed Two-Horned Swimming Turquoise People Eater), and it may also be pigeon-toed and under-growed, but it is unclear whether the “purple” refers to its coloration or its diet. Equally unclear is whether or not it is a threat to humans. Wooley refers to the purple eater as feeding on purple people, but it also states that it would not eat Wooley due to his “toughness”. Unless Wooley himself is a purple person, it can be safely assumed that the purple people eater’s primary provender includes people and purple people alike. Furthermore, it is not improbable that a diet of high-pigment purple people would render the purple people eater purple itself; after all, flamingos dye themselves pink with shrimp, and the Four-Eyed Three-Horned Crawling Cobalt People Eater is a rich blue color owing to its primary diet of smurfs.
Either way, it is clearly some kind of trickster spirit, as, despite its proclivities for people-eating, it is capable of intelligent speech and desires to play in a rock and roll band. The vaunted horn (still collected to this day for traditional Chinese medicine – the unfortunate Five-Eyed Nineteen-Horned Plodding Orange People Eater was driven to extinction in this way) is actually hollow, and serves as an amplifier for its mellow trumpeting vocalizations. The purple people eater also likes short shorts, but it remains uncertain whether it is referring to its preferred clothing or – more worryingly – its choice in victims.
References
Poisson, A. (1994) Color me surprised: people eaters around the world. Bob’s Printers and Convenience Store, Topeka.
Wooley, S. F. (1958) The Purple People Eater. MGM, New York.
Sure looks strange to me.
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Hahahahaha, one of the best april fools I’ve ever seen. Laughed so hard!
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OH WAIT IT’S APRIL FOOLS I FORGOT
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😀
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Oh! I finally caught that! The artwork certainly seemed… diffrent than usual…
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You like? I drew it in 3rd grade and it’s been downhill since then.
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I loved this! LOL
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God, I love April!
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I love you for making this.
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I love you too 💜
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The purple parts refers to it’s diet.
It said “eatin purple people sure is fun.”
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But they’re not mutually exclusive, I addressed that. For more please see Avril Poisson’s monograph.
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Sorry for doubting your expertise on the matter
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I’ll have you know I have multiple degrees in monoculomonoceropteropurpuranthropophagology
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I was going to comment that anthropophagi of all sorts were once considered the domain of anthropologists, but on reflection that makes an assumption on the species of the eaters that is clearly not warranted here.
Love the publisher on the Poisson citation, btw. Rare book, I should imagine!
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I can’t help noticing that the horn does not appear to be one that the OOFPPE could play rock and roll music through…
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Bad intel no doubt
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Most excellent! I just hope it doesn’t wear an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini! But more likely it’s the Three-Eyed Two-Horned Swimming Turquoise People Eater that wears a bikini.
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Thanks so much for compiling all these wonderful creatures! Especially for adding this silly one. I have been eating all these creatures up for the past week and am so happy that there are still more! You are awesome!
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Thank you *-*
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I grew up with this song. Thank you to whoever made this.
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