EDIT: APRIL FOOLS
You may have noticed a recent decline in posting at ABC. Truth be told, I’m just not into it anymore. There’s no real point in updating constantly, and besides for all intents and purposes I’m just endlessly rehashing familiar mythological creatures.
Therefore I’m going to be taking ABC in exciting new directions. Starting today, ABC will report on various cryptozoological finds that I’ve discovered around me. Turns out you don’t have to travel to distant exotic locales, and my job for all intents and purposes is to find those strange creatures around me. I hope you like ABC’s new angle, and I look forward to hearing what you think about it!
I had the opportunity to find this unusual hieroglyphic on a beverage container. For all intents and purposes it appears to serve some kind of apotropaic function, perhaps warding off warmth that would make the beverage less than palatable. There is no chance that it is there for decorative purposes – why would they even bother drawing it if it didn’t serve some kind of spiritual function?
I’m not quite sure what it is though, it seems to be some kind of goblin with a horn, tusk, or otherwise growth on the right side of its face. It also has rounded structures on its head, and seems to have an appendage growing out of its midsection while it balances on what is, for all intents and purposes, a single columnar leg. With such a nasty appearance, no wonder the makers of the receptacle believed it would scare away heat demons.
This on the other hand was sighted during a diving trip in the unsounded depths of That One Pond In The Botanical Gardens. While the image quality was not particularly good, I could tell at once that this was a species new to science. Unfortunately there are no scale references, but I believe it was at least 10 meters long. The blur to its right is a UFO.
This is my interpretation of this vicious killer. For all intents and purposes I would not want to be in the water with it.
This photo is the most intriguing yet. I saw this creature in the untamed wilds of Just Outside The House, and I barely managed to snap this valuable photographic artifact before it made aggressive movements towards me and I had to flee.
The image is blurry, but there is no doubt that is a fascinating new species. Above is my interpretation of the monster. As you can see it matches no creature known to science.
For all intents and purposes the creature is still out there, and I believe it can still be found. If you’re interested in funding my search for this monster, please contact me at the email provided adjacent and send me your financial information.
Aelian, Spiregrain, D. trans. (1934) How to find monsters without really trying. Flying Press, Surrey.
Myself (pers. comm.)